


Yock Island

by SteveTrevorsStarship



Series: RoyEd OTPoly 2020 [2]
Category: Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: I am so sorry about these tags, M/M, Oblivious Ed, Roy uses big words, gratuitous use of the word fuck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-05
Updated: 2020-07-05
Packaged: 2021-03-05 06:06:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,333
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25079599
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SteveTrevorsStarship/pseuds/SteveTrevorsStarship
Summary: Who the hell named it Yock Island, anyway?(Or: Izumi sticks Ed and Roy on Yock Island because she's done with them dancing around each other and having to listen to Ed bitch about it.)
Relationships: Edward Elric/Roy Mustang
Series: RoyEd OTPoly 2020 [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1813930
Comments: 13
Kudos: 127
Collections: RoyEd OTPoly 2020





	Yock Island

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not especially proud of this, but this is my house level for the bonus prompt/West Railroad "Ed and Roy are stranded on an island"
> 
> Ed uses the word fuck 35 times in this fic. That means 1.5% of this fic consists of the word "fuck". That is all, thanks for coming to my TED talk.

Ed hates this damn island. Izumi has used it against him before; dumping him on it after she’s already acknowledged him as a peer _and a 20-year-old man_ is her badass-stoic-teacher way of saying, “You’re being an idiot, fix it.”

Dumping him here with _Mustang_ is even more telling.

“What did you call this place again?” Roy asks, rubbing the spot on his forehead where Izumi had used a very large rock to knock him out and drag him into the boat. 

Ed tries not to think about the fact he took one look at Izumi’s face and followed her into the boat, not even bothering to mention Roy’s unconscious body. He might not be a total masochist, but he’s prideful. “Yock Island,” Ed responds. 

“And why did your teacher knock me out and drag us here?” 

Ed bites his lip on _because apparently it’s very obvious that I’m in love with you and have been moping about it for the past two months_ because it sounds like the sort of cheesy shit that Mustang would appreciate, and Ed had made it a rule not to appreciate anything he appreciates. 

After Ed had left the military, he hadn’t bothered sticking around Central. He went home to Resembool, took care of his brother, and then traveled the world like any other young adult would do. His correspondence with Team Mustang had been shaky at best. 

When he had returned from his world travels, it had been a different story. Al had practically leveled a knife at his throat and said, “You’re in Amestris, either you exchange letters with the people that helped you or you die.” That’s paraphrased, of course, because his sweet little brother didn’t need to threaten him with a knife to get him to do things. 

Either way, it had started a letter correspondence between him and Mustang. The first letters Ed had sent had said something along the lines of, “Al is forcing me to do this, send help before I die of boredom. Oh, also, how’s Hayate?” Mustang, being Mustang, had responded with a two-page long letter that consisted of specific details of how the team was doing. In an especially cruel turn, the second page had consisted entirely of Havoc’s failed attempts at dating in the past year. 

Ed, in a brilliant form of retaliation, concocted his own five-page letter that described Al’s wellbeing and how well his little brother was doing using words like “perfect little cat-lover” and other cheesy pet names for him. Al hadn’t let him send it, but it was the thought that counts. 

And thus had begun the stupidest letter correspondence known to man. 

Al eventually went back to Xing for “Alkehestry Research” (or as Ed liked to call it, Study Sessions with Mei Kissing Him A Lot), and Ed got even _more_ bored in Resembool. There were no libraries for him to research whatever Alchemy he was fucking with that week and no amount of Granny telling him he would figure out what he wanted to do eventually actually helped when it came to sitting still. 

So he’d finally said, “Fuck it,” and got on a train to Central. 

It had become both the worst idea of his life and the best. 

The best, because he’d gotten a research job at Central University and was looking into applications of alchemy that could help the people instead of burning down entire countries and throwing coups. It was a fun job, and it kept him busy. 

The worst, because being in Central meant he was required to go to Team Mustang’s weekly bar night. Which meant continued exposure to Roy Mustang. Which meant eventually they became friends who hung out at each other’s houses and debated alchemy and all that other gross friendship shit. 

Which meant Ed fell in love with Roy Mustang and his stupid smile and his stupid laugh that like, two people get to see because he’s actually a shy bastard. 

So he’d gone down to Dublith to escape the choking fear of being in love with his heterosexual ex-commanding officer who was 14 years older than him. 

And of course, Izumi had tricked Roy into coming down by calling Hawkeye (Ed tries not to think about the doom that friendship guarantees), who ushered Roy onto a train to Dublith using some excuse Roy hasn’t told Ed about yet. That brings them to where they are now, with Roy recovering from a minor head wound and Ed sighing at the rude, but not unsurprising behavior of the universe. 

Because let’s be honest– when has the world _ever_ just let him be? 

“Ed?” Roy asks again and Ed remembers, _oh, I should probably answer him._

“Uh,” Ed says, “team bonding, maybe?” 

_Yes, wonderful lie Ed. Team bonding. With a guy you’re not on a team with. Fuckin' great lie._

“Uhuh,” Roy says skeptically. “Would you happen to know why Riza told me you were on your deathbed and couldn’t get in contact with Al?” 

“Wait, seriously? _That’s_ what she told you to get you down here? And you believed her?” 

“Of course I did,” Roy says. “You nearly get yourself killed every day even without your alchemy, I wouldn’t be surprised if you actually did.” 

Ed opens his mouth to argue, but he knows it’s true. _Dammit._

Ed watches as Roy looks around the Island. “This place is uninhabited, correct?” Ed nods in confirmation and Roy frowns. “Then I suppose we should make some shelter for the night. Who knows when your teacher will take us back to the mainland.” 

Ed winces. “Whenever we fix whatever she dumped us here for,” he mumbles, standing up and brushing off his pants. Roy does the same and gives Ed a curious look. 

“What _did_ she dump us here for? I thought you were here on vacation.” 

“I was, for the past week. Until she dumped me on an island. C’mon, let’s go find a place to set up shelter.” 

“Shelter for me, not you,” Roy says, smirking in that _I’m about to tease you because you’re my best friend and that’s what I do to the people I care about_ kind of way. Ed does not appreciate the effect it has on his heart. “You’re small enough to fit in a bird’s nest.” 

Instead of yelling at him like he normally would, Ed rolls his eyes and says, “Fuck you.” He doesn’t have the patience or the energy to be dealing with Roy-fucking-Mustang and his freakish hotness and everything about him. He’d already been ignoring the man for almost two months, he wasn’t sure he could go another night stranded on an island with him without yelling in his face, “I’m in love with you, you stupid mother fucking idiot!” and slamming something (possibly a coconut) on the ground just for the pure pleasure of breaking it. 

Roy’s smirk flickers and Ed sees the hint of _is he okay-why didn’t he yell at me-I’m worried_ in his eyes. He hates that they can read each other that easily. He hates this entire situation. Fuck straight men, they fucking _suck,_ going around getting everybody’s hopes up with their cheekbones and eyelashes and pretty words and– 

“Ed,” Roy says slowly, snapping him out of his murderous thoughts, “are you okay?” 

Ed scowls. “I hate when people ask that. Of fucking course I’m okay– do I look like I need medical attention?” 

“No,” Roy reassures, shaking his head and using his words very carefully. “You just seem tense.” 

“Of fucking course I’m _tense,_ ” Ed growls, “My teacher dumped me on an abandoned island with you of all people, you bastard.” 

Roy blinks, looking taken aback. Ed has seen him overthrow an entire government. The man doesn’t _do_ surprise, so now Ed feels kind of bad that he said that and it managed to make Roy look like someone snatched the lollipop out of his hands. 

“Okay,” he says, “What did I do wrong?” 

“Nothing,” Ed mumbles and runs a hand down his face. “You’re fine, I’m just being pissy.”

“Ed,” he breathes and Ed tries not to think his voice sounds like a damn prayer saying his name, silk-smooth and pleading, “you have been attempting to act like I don’t exist for two months. It has not escaped my attention, and while I was under the assumption it would resolve itself, it apparently has not. Please tell me what I did wrong so I can fix it and then we can go back to being friends.” 

“That’s the fuckin’ _problem_ ,” Ed snaps before realizing how that probably sounds and taking a deep breath. “Look– I’m sorry. I just can’t– Fuck, how do I say this shit? How are you so suave at talking and all that other shit? I can’t even fucking explain– fuck.” 

“Eloquent,” Roy comments. 

“Thank you, now kindly go fuck yourself. Or fuck me, because that’s the stupid shit that got us into this problem in the first place.” 

Ed realizes what he said and cringes. 

Roy’s eyebrow raises in that _I’m processing what you just said as fast as I can, but your bullshit is so loud it’s taking me longer than usual_ way of his. “I don’t remember having sex with you at any point in the past,” he says thoughtfully like maybe there’s a chance he fucked Ed and _forgot_.

Ed sighs loudly. “Yeah, you fucking idiot, that’s the _problem._ ”

Roy’s eyebrows go from sky-high to furrowing themselves in confusion before the realization hits his face like a train, and Ed would be lying if he said it wasn’t satisfying to see Roy “I don’t know what emotions are” Mustang go through what has to be at least twenty different emotions. 

And then he says, suave as ever, “How is that a problem? I’m not opposed to it.” 

Ed does not _splutter,_ thank you very much. He displays his surprise in a calm and very rational way. 

“You– you stupid mother fucker, you’re straight!” 

“Isn’t it rude to assume somebody’s sexuality?”

“You’re the straightest person I’ve ever known!”

“If we were speaking in terms of the legality of my actions, I would have to argue with you. I did overthrow a government.” 

“Okay, but I mean, you fuck women every other day, don’t you?”

Roy frowns. “That’s a bit of an exaggeration. Every other month, maybe.”

“See? You’re straight!” 

“I didn’t say I _only_ fucked women.” 

“Since fucking when?”

“Since high school.” Roy hesitates after he says this, but then he takes a deep breath, looks Ed dead-on, and says, “As I said, I’m not opposed to fucking you, but I would rather like to be in a monogamous long-term relationship with you.”

Ed doesn’t know where his jaw is right now. It could be on the ground, or he could be clenching it so hard his teeth hurt, or it could be in another fucking dimension and he _wouldn’t even fucking notice because what the fuck._

There are at least five minutes of Ed just blinking at Roy and Roy smiling back before Ed says, “What the shitting _fuck_?” 

“That one is oddly vulgar, even for you.” 

“I’ll show you oddly vulgar, you little _shit_.”

“Ed,” Roy laughs– holy shit, is he _nervous?_ – and continues, “can we please get back on topic?” 

“I-” Ed stutters. “I don’t really know how to respond. That’s such a weird proposal, Mustang! That’s like saying ‘Hey, can I court you?’ except it’s the 20th century and _nobody ever says that._ Do you like me?” 

Roy coughs into his hand. “It’s no better than you saying you want to fuck me and that’s a problem. And yes, I do like you, very much.”

“I’m not good with words! We already knew that, but you went and threw me off by being even worse with them than I am, and that’s a fuckin’ accomplishment, right there.”

“I strive to impress you.”

“I’ll fuckin’ bet. You buy me flowers and I’ll tell Riza how you sneak out of the office when you’re supposed to be doing paperwork, you understand?” 

“In that case, I’m not entirely sure I want a relationship with you. Flowers are a requirement and so is sneaking out of the office so I don’t choke myself on ink.” 

“Oh, fuck you,” Ed snarls and throws himself at Roy, capturing his lips in a clumsy kiss because Roy– _the fucker_ – is laughing at him. “Stop laughing!”

“You’re so dramatic,” he says. “You could have just told me back in Central and your teacher wouldn’t have had to knock me out and throw me on a boat.”

“Go fuck yourself, you’re enjoying the time off from work.” 

“That,” Roy says, kissing Ed on the nose while Ed scrunches it up and looks at him like he’s an idiot, “I can’t argue with.”

. . .

“You can’t put the pine straw down like that, fuckhead! Didn’t the military ever make you do basic survival training?” 

Roy sighs. “This relationship is going to end before it ever even started, isn’t it?”

“Well yeah, if you can’t figure out how to put pine straw down in a fuckin’ makeshift shelter!” 

. . .

Sig sighs while looking through the branches at the two arguing over the correct way to settle pine straw down in a makeshift shelter. He begins walking back to his boat, ready to report his findings to Izumi. He’s been there for a good part of Ed’s life, so he knows the young man well enough to know he’s very much in love. Roy might be harder to read, but Sig recognizes the way he watches Ed. He’s seen it in himself every day when he looks at Izumi, after all. Roy Mustang is very much in love with Ed. 

It’s a good thing Izumi had the patience to throw the two of them on Yock Island together. And he will have to send Riza a gift basket. That wonderful young woman really does go above and beyond for her superior. 


End file.
